Pro-Plus-Size Does Not Mean Anti-Skinny

In my lifetime, I have heard many plus-size women put down thinner women in an effort to make themselves feel better.  Everything from point-blank comments about how they need to "eat a cheeseburger" to the more subtle put-downs hidden in supposedly pro-plus-size slogans like "real women have curves".  These same women who would be aghast if someone were to make a comment to them about putting the fork down or the weight limit on a ride somehow have convinced themselves that it's ok for them to think & say what they do about thinner women.

On one level, this is disturbing to me because it emulates the negativity that these same plus-size women get from the rest of society -- but somehow it's ok for them to make disparaging comments about the thinner women --why, exactly?  Because society itself doesn't pick them apart as much, so it's ok for them to do it, to what - even out the scales?  It's typical abused/abuser behavior -- they hear negative comments about their body, and even though they KNOW how horrible that makes them feel about themselves & their own body, they somehow become the abuser themselves & pass on that same behavior to other women.  How about we break the cycle of abuse instead?  How about we not only not talk negatively about OURSELVES, but we not talk negatively about anyone else either -- regardless of whether she looks like you or not?

But what's worse than that, in my opinion, is when women try to pass their negativity off as simply being "pro-plus-size".  For example, the previously-named slogan "real women have curves" -- what this implies is that if you don't have curves, you're not a real woman.  I get that this came from a place of good intention (as an anti-airbrushed model campaign), but in fact what it does is put down anyone who doesn't "have curves".  So, my BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING friend who happens to be tall & lanky, and yet very much a woman of every sense -- she doesn't count, because -- WHY again??  Because you need to feel better about yourself?

Because that's what it all really comes down to, in my opinion -- the simple schoolyard behavior of putting another down in order to make oneself feel better. "If I say that she's not pretty/attractive/desirable, then that makes ME pretty/attractive/desirable by proxy."  What???  :S

Can't we ALL be pretty/attractive/desirable, without having to put someone else down in order to feel that way?  Can't we be "pro" _____ without having to be "anti" _____?  Afterall, if you have to put someone else down in order to lift yourself up, that's not self-confidence, as there is no SELF in that action.  And it's called SELF-confidence for a reason.  So the next time you start to critique another woman's appearance/body type/food choices, think about how you'd feel if someone was directing that kind of negativity toward you based solely on your appearance/body type/food choices.  And STOP the cycle of abuse.